i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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