Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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