Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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