I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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