what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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