I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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