i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
im holly from the hills drunk
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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