told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
