It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
