THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
