Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
