just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
