Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
