well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
