Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
