I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
