Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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