Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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