getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
