I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize