I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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