If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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