I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Randomize
