Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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