I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize