whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
