I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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