First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
are you so shy because you have an std?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
