It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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