I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
