I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
