I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
