The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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