I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
