hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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