i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
