the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
