your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
