she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
