I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Randomize