I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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