awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
why do cheetos always look like penises
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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