woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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