I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize