1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
