He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
not ubering you a puppy
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
