I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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