**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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