i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
