You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
