Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
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