I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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