I need help removing her.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
