How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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