i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
