So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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