Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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