had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
