Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize