it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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