I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
