if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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